Okay so maybe I’m a smart alec, but I find it hilarious to fire off witty answers to general, programmed questions. What I mean is this: you go to the store and the cashier asks, “Did you find everything okay?” A classic Stephen response would be something like, “Well, no, I didn’t find everything. I mean, there’s a lot here! All I was looking for was an ink cartridge.”

So, I was just on the phone with my previous cell phone provider because I needed to cancel my membership (to switch carriers). She was very helpful in assisting me, and at the end of the conversation she asked, “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Hmm…” I said, “not unless you’re giving away free bottles of champagne for everybody who cancels their membership.”

…yeah, that was the end of that conversation.